


take all that i can give

by Maeve_of_Winter



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - BDSM, Caretaking, Dom/sub, Hurt/Comfort, Light Bondage, M/M, Overstimulation, Praise Kink, Self-Esteem Issues, Subdrop, Team as Family, Tenderness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-21
Updated: 2020-02-21
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:34:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22706272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maeve_of_Winter/pseuds/Maeve_of_Winter
Summary: Tuukka doesn't hate being a sub. He just hates the idea of losing control of himself. It doesn't at all meet with the standards he sets for his own performance.But when it's clear that he needs help, Zee, his Dom captain, steps in to show it's all right to let someone else take care of him every once in a while.
Relationships: Zdeno Chara/Tuukka Rask
Comments: 11
Kudos: 101
Collections: Chocolate Box - Round 5





	take all that i can give

**Author's Note:**

  * For [elijah_was_a_prophet](https://archiveofourown.org/users/elijah_was_a_prophet/gifts).



> Happy Valentine's Day! I was really happy to see a request for Big Zee, so I wanted to be sure I managed to write at least one treat for it. I hope you enjoy!

Exuberance and energy surged through the Bruins’ locker room, the buzz of victory pumping into every crack and corner, from the showers to each of the stalls. After grinding their way through a particularly brutal game against the Pens that left them scrabbling even for a tie, winning in the shootout had swept them all up in a flood of relief, amplifying the thrill of triumph to even greater heights than usual.

Preoccupied with congratulating the various members of the team and pulling aside the team subs for an extra word of encouragement after such a long struggle, Zdeno was later than usual getting to the showers. By the time he’d finished, a number of the guys had already departed. Still, as he toweled off and started pulling on his sweats, he was pleased to note that a bunch of the others were still going over to Tuukka and Brad and congratulating them, Tuukka for blocking every shot on the goal in overtime, and Brad for his hat trick. Zdeno could feel his smile growing wider, and warm satisfaction settled in his stomach—nothing made him happier than seeing his team support one another.

Then, just Zdeno was slipping on his shoes, Tuukka’s scornful voice cracked through the air like a whip.

“ ‘Great game’?” he snarled, the fury barbing his tone unmistakeable. _“Seriously?_ That’s what you have to say to me after the stunt you pulled?”

A hush fell over the room, the boisterousness of mere seconds ago abruptly snuffed out as more than a dozen heads swiveled in Tuukka’s direction, Zdeno’s among them. He only wished he could have been surprised at the scene unfolding in front of Tuukka’s stall: Charlie stood before Tuukka, shock written across his features. Tuukka remained seated, but his fury was so evident and intense that he might as well have been shaking Charlie by the shoulders.

Right away Zdeno knew exactly what Tuukka was referencing; shortly before the end of the second period, Charlie had flung himself into the net to prevent Crosby from scoring. It had been a successful block, but he’d plowed into Tuukka and knocked him off his feet in the process. During the break, Tuukka had been extremely irate and very vocal that he hadn’t appreciated Charlie bowling him over in his attempt to help, and Charlie had sincerely apologized. And while Tuukka’s wrath hadn’t quite faded, Zdeno had been convinced that the worst of it was over. 

Apparently that wasn’t the case.

As the rest of the room remained stunned into silence, Tuukka continued, his rage appearing to only increase as he went on speaking.

“Did you think I wasn’t capable?” he sneered up at Charlie. “Did you really think I needed help from some pylon who needed to hide out in college out for his first year because he couldn’t hack it in the actual League?”

Even after being his captain for a near decade, Zdeno was left frozen with shock by the sheer _vitriol_ in Tuukka’s voice. As fiery as he knew their goaltender could be, he could never recall him treating a teammate with such harshness, least of all a rookie. 

Charlie said nothing in reply, his gaze dropping silently to the floor as he turned from Tuukka and began to shuffle away, redness ebbing into his round cheeks as he did.

But where Charlie didn’t have anything to say, Backes wasted no time in firing off a retort, making his outrage toward Tuukka clear. 

“You done yet?” he snapped, snagging Charlie’s arm as he went to pass by and pulling him into his lap, cuddling the young sub close even as he glared over at Tuukka. “He’s already apologized and promised to work harder to not do it again. What more do you want?”

Tuukka only rolled his eyes at Backes, instead directing his response toward Charlie. “Is that how it is?” he asked Charlie mockingly, his eyes flashing. “You can’t fight your own battles, so you’re getting a Dom to do it for you? You let that happen, you won’t last here long, I can promise you that.”

The utter _contempt_ in Tuukka’s voice and his unrelenting cruelty to another sub sparked Zdeno out of his daze and into action, his protective instincts surging to the surface. 

**_“Tuukka,”_ ** he said sharply, not holding back on his Dom voice a shred. **_“That’s enough.”_ **

Even though the command was only directed at one of them, the effect on all of the subs in the room was instantaneous. Charlie began trembling harder in Backes’s embrace, and Backes tightened his grip around him. Out of the corner of his eye, Zdeno spotted Brad visibly flinch, and Patrice immediately rushed to his side and began to stroke his hair to soothe him. Meanwhile, Pasta froze where he’d been stowing his gear away, like a deer who knew he’d been caught in a hunter’s scope, and even Matt, the only switch on the roster, tensed and curled in on himself slightly.

However, Tuukka himself appeared the least affected. For a moment he sat rigid, his spine snapping up ramrod straight at an order from his captain and team Dom, but in the next instant, he was brushing it off and rising from his stall.

“I’m going to see the trainers,” he announced to no one in particular as he stalked toward the exit. “Christ _knows_ what damage that collision did to me.” 

The door swung shut behind him with finality, and for a moment the room was still as its remaining occupants turned back to look at Zdeno, awaiting his reaction with bated breath.

A practiced Dom with years of experience, Zdeno was well aware of what his team needed in that moment. Reminding himself that he needed to be the one guiding the team by example, he let a tranquil expression settle onto his face, drawing the calm to him naturally instead of forcing it, and then he looked back at each one of his teammates with a steadying gaze.

“We’ve all had a tough game,” he told them soothingly, deliberately avoiding his Dom voice. “Spirits might be high, but tempers can be, too. When you go out tonight to celebrate, don’t forget to give yourself what you need—and please come to me or one of the As right away if you have the urge to. None of us will turn you away.”

The entire room seemed to let out a collective sigh of relief at his placid reassurance, and Zdeno could feel himself relaxing slightly as well. Caring for his team and comforting them had long been what settled and centered him as Dom, easing away any tightness in his muscles and replacing it with a quiet sense of accomplishment. And now, even while his instincts were urging him to go and find Tuukka and try to determine what had so upset the veteran sub, he decided that he should give Tuukka some space for the moment. His first priority was taking a few minutes to check in with other subs on the roster. 

Much to his approval, even as he moved from sub to sub, his teammates were already uniting and caring for each other. Not only was Backes consoling Charlie and holding him tightly, whispering to him softly and hugging him close, but Jake and Brandon had joined him. Each of the younger Doms were following Backes’s example, gently smoothing their hands along Charlie’s sides and nuzzling at his neck. Patrice was handling Brad with soft touches and softer words, and Krug had joined him, crowding in on Brad’s other side to keep him tucked protectively between them. Pasta had a combination of Krej, Kurl, and Danton’s arms wrapped around him while they murmured to him soothingly and took turns petting his hair and face. And Matt hadn’t been forgotten, either; Noel had plastered himself to his side the moment Tuukka had left the room, brushing his lips to his cheeks and neck as Matt leaned against him, each touch seeming to revitalize him a little bit more.

Zdeno was certain to spend a few minutes with each of them, taking his time with every sub just as a team Dom should. Each of them got a strong, solid hug and a kind word from him, and he deliberately gave as much extra encouragement to Charlie as he could, running a hand through his hair as he spoke to him gently. He knew the rookie’s self-confidence must have been greatly shaken by being berated by Tuukka in front of their teammates twice in the span of a single game, and he wanted Charlie to be certain beyond a doubt that he was adored by his team and captain.

Eventually, though, he couldn’t ignore the Dom instincts within him urging him to go find Tuukka, and he gently helped Charlie settle into Backes’s lap again, giving him one final soft kiss on the forehead as he did. He was rewarded with Charlie offering him a shy smile that had warmth rushing through his veins, and he left to find Tuukka filled by the potent satisfaction of a Dom knowing he’d done well by his subs.

However, it drained away from him almost entirely once he stumbled across Tuukka a short ways down the hall.

The walk to the trainers’ room wasn’t long, but it seemed like Tuukka hadn’t had the strength to make it the full way. Zdeno found him at the halfway point, crumpled down against a wall, his face buried in his shaking hands, and his pulse leapt at the sight of a sub teammate so obviously distressed.

In an instant, Zdeno was at his side, kneeling down and drawing Tuukka close and spreading his large palm across his back to keep him there. Every instinct within him as a Dom and a captain flared to full force, determination pouring through him to help the hurting sub in front of him in any way possible.

“Tuukka,” he said softly, tracing a light hand down from Tuukka’s neck across his collarbone. “It’s all right. I’m here. What do you need?”

Dropping his hands, Tuukka tried to yank away even as he trembled violently. “I’m fine,” he insisted, his voice raw and tears dripping down his face. “You can leave, Zee. There’s nothing for you to do here.”

Instead of arguing the point, Zdeno just remained as he was, studying Tuukka as he continued to rub soothing circles across his back his mind working frantically to process all of the pieces of Tuukka’s recent behavior. The tremors wracking his body, the sudden onset of anger that then abruptly transformed to tears, his newfound ability to shake off Zdeno’s Dom voice . . .

“You’re in subdrop,” Zdeno realized, his heart clenching at the thought. A horrid suspicion dawned on him. _“Tuukka_ —did you play like this?” 

Tuukka said nothing, but he stilled in his attempts to duck out of Zdeno’s grip.

“Oh, Tuukka.” With a fierce burst of protectiveness, Zdeno wrapped him in a tight hug, wishing his embrace could soak up all of the pain and anxiety Tuukka was enduring. “Any of us would have helped you. Please tell me you know that.”

“It’s not—I shouldn’t need—” Tuukka just shook his head in frustration, more tears trailing down his cheeks.

“If it’s what you need, it’s what you deserve,” Zdeno told him firmly, slivers of sterness entering his voice. Repeating the sentiment wasn’t new to him; years in his position as team Dom had required him to frequently remind various other Doms to prioritize team subs’ needs. 

Still, he consciously softened his voice as he leaned in to speak with Tuukka again. “I know you’re hurting, and I don’t want that,” he told him, carefully petting Tuukka’s hair with his long fingers. “Would you let me take you home? I can’t walk away from you, not when you’re so upset.” And even if he’d wanted to, his Dom instincts were too strong to ever allow him to treat a sub so poorly, especially not one of his own. 

For a long moment, Tuukka was silent, and Zdeno was sure that he was going to refuse, but then he gave a small nod without speaking. He didn’t look up to meet Zdeno’s eyes, either, so Zdeno was sure to tilt Tuukka’s chin upward to lock gazes with him.

“Thank you, Tuukka,” he said sincerely. “I’m proud to be the one taking care of you.”

While Tuukka said nothing in reply, his cheeks tinted slightly pink, and he didn’t object as Zdeno easily lifted him up off the floor and carefully guided him into the trainers’ room. Zdeno was sure to keep a steady, gentle hand on his back the whole time.

* * *

The two of them were only at the trainers’ for a matter of minutes—at the sight of Tuukka, Gina immediately ushered him to an exam room and started fussing over him in just the way that made him reluctant to ask for help in the first place. Luckily, his condition was fairly obvious and didn’t require much further examination, so she let them both go after making Zee promise to call her if Tuukka got any worse. It was with great relief that Tuukka walked out beside Zee to his car, even if Zee did insist on wrapping an arm around Tuukka’s shoulders for the entire way and then bundling him in a soft blanket he stored in his car explicitly for sub emergencies of this kind. The knowledge rankled Tuukka.

“I’m not some kind of invalid, you know,” Tuukka noted irritably as Zee swiftly secured the blanket around his shoulders and then opened the car door for him. He ignored the warmth that pooled low in his belly as Zee helped him settle into the seat, carefully smoothing down the blanket to be sure it wouldn’t let in any draft.

“I know you’re not,” Zee told him kindly, gently cupping Tuukka’s cheek in one colossal palm. “But you’re my responsibility, and I want to be sure you’re safe.” He planted a light kiss on Tuukka’s forehead, and then shut the door and wove around to his own seat. 

When he did, he handed Tuukka a bottle of Gatorade and a power bar, one of the specialty organic kind that Tuukka knew he bought at the farmers’ market.

“Eat during the drive, okay?” Zee instructed as he buckled his seatbelt. “And make sure you finish the entire bottle, too. You should be staying hydrated.”

Tuukka gazed down at the items in his hands, watching as the lights of the parking garage splintered and fragmented before him as Zee backed out of the parking space and swung the car toward the exit. While thirst scratched dimly at his throat, he was too preoccupied to so much as twist the cap off the Gatorade, so he pushed it to the back of his mind, unable to see a point in quenching his thirst when he would rather be brooding.

These were the times when he loathed his sub urges, when he couldn’t hold them back and instead felt like he was going to burst out of his skin with sheer _need._ He didn’t hate being a sub, not necessarily. He’d never tried to fight his dynamic, never longed to be a Dom instead. But it was just— _some_ subs’ instincts weren’t as strong as his, and some of them didn’t have these feelings that they couldn’t compartmentalize. They didn’t have this horrid sensation of losing control, of losing _himself._ They didn’t have to suffer through the humiliation of knowing that he’d have to get on his knees and crawl to some Dom teammate and beg them to take care of him because he couldn’t manage himself on his own. 

Tuukka had high standards for himself, and it was a point of pride that he regularly managed to meet them. But even when he was furious with himself and his performance, at least he had the consolation that he could improve, that he could pour in all the blood, sweat, and labor required to boost himself up over the edge and drag his team along with him.

But with his sub urges, he couldn’t do that. Even though he’d devoted countless hours trying to learn control by trying the various recommended methods, learning relaxation techniques, and even taking classes, his submissive instincts still overpowered him whenever they swelled too close to surface, leaving him cycling through panic and anger and tears, but worst of all, utterly _helpless_ to stop any of it. 

That was what Tuukka hated. He hated his instincts for their specific shape and intensity, for rendering him someone who had to exist without control, someone without _standards._

A giant hand clamped down on Tuukka’s knee, startling him out of his thoughts, and his head darted up to find the car resting at a stoplight and Zee looking over at him worriedly.

“Tuukka,” he said, his deep voice soft but firm. “You need to eat.”

The sentence was Zee and all of Tuukka’s experiences with him summed up into five words. The ever-loving, ever-concerned Dom who only wanted to help any sub he stumbled across. Team Dom was merely a role that Zee filled perfectly; it was simply who he _was,_ what he lived and breathed, and he would have still been that kind of Dom even if he didn’t have the official position.

Still, Tuukka preferred the idea that they were both just playing roles, just a sub in trouble with a Dom teammate who was going to help him out just this once.

It was, he thought heavily, the wrapper of the power bar crinkling as he opened it, far easier to cope with than the truth.

* * *

“Are you up for ropes tonight?” Zee asked him once they were in his bedroom. He stroked a hand through Tuukka’s hair as he patiently waited for an answer.

At first Tuukka only shrugged, too exhausted to care, but then, once Zee nodded in understanding and left to retrieve his ropes, he was struck by a sudden jolt of anxiety. 

“Facedown,” he told Zee frantically as Zee looked up from where he was weaving the ropes around Tuukka’s arm. “You can tie me up, but I want to be facedown.” His shame and anger were too strong to suffer through eye contact throughout the night. 

Zee paused in his actions to tenderly stroke a broad thumb across Tuukka’s cheek. “Of course, Tuukka. Anything you want.”

The ropes were both a curse and a blessing—they caged him in so he couldn’t struggle away from the touch he craved but thoroughly resented that he needed. But they also eased the sting of knowing that he wanted it. After all, if he couldn’t get away, what choice did he have to accept every one of Zee’s gentle, soothing caresses?

Only when Tuukka’s entire arms and torso were lined with crisscrossing cord did Zdeno maneuver him into the cuffs at either bedpost. Tuukka had been cared for by Zee enough times to know that this time, Zee was doing it for Tuukka’s benefit rather than the own; as much as Zee enjoyed the aesthetics of bondage, the knowledge that he had control, his Dom instincts were too demanding to allow him to take the time to bind a sub in drop if he didn’t think Tuukka truly needed it.

And he did need it, sometimes, as difficult as it was for Tuukka to admit that. He needed the feeling that he belonged to someone else for now, that someone else was in control when he couldn’t be. The ropes, taut against his bare skin, too soft to leave any damage but heavy enough that he was aware of them every second, were a reminder right now that Zee was control, that he would take care of Tuukka.

Once the second cuff was secured, Zee pressed down onto Tuukka’s back with both hands, a solid pressure but not a painful one, murmuring lowly into his ear. 

“I want you to stay quiet,” he instructed him. “No sounds unless it’s your safeword. Just concentrate on what I do and what you feel. That’s all I expect of you for tonight, and I know you can do it.”

For a moment, he just brushed a tender hand through Tuukka’s hair, tracing his fingertips along Tuukka’s neck. Then he stopped, and Tuukka became aware of the thin band of a collar pressing into his throat and heard the _snap_ of the steel clasp as it was fastened at the nape of his neck. 

With a collar, it was official: Tuukka belonged to his captain for the night, surrendering all care and control to him. And while he trusted Zee to do the job and do it just as well as he had every other time, he couldn’t ignore the fiery of shame that seared through him with the knowledge. It didn’t merely pass through in a blaze, either, but remained, using every one of Tuukka’s self-doubts as kindling so that it could persist.

But gradually, it died down as a different, separate heat started to build low in Tuukka’s belly as Zee patiently and methodically worked him open with one hand while rubbing soothing circles onto his back with the other. He murmured comfortingly as Tuukka’s breath hitched in his throat but didn’t pause in prepping him, spreading cool lube across his hole and massaging it inside. Eventually, even with the stretch, the sensation of Zee’s hands on him faded into familiarity, and Tuukka could almost relax into it. But just as he was getting accustomed to the touch, Zee pushed further inside of him, far too deep for comfort, and Tuukka almost let out a whine. At the last second, he was able to clamp it down, settling instead for a futile attempt at squirming away, the bonds holding him in place.

“You like that, sweetheart?” Zee asked gently, and then pushed his fingers even further in.

This time Tuukka _jerked,_ the pressure too much too soon. But Zee’s fingers pressed in insistently, and before Tuukka realized what was happening, they were grazing at his prostate, the barely-there brush already far too intense for him to handle. He gasped out loud, but Zee didn’t scold him, instead just kissing at his neck.

“I’m so lucky to have a boy like you,” Zee murmured. “Trying so hard and doing so well for me. Let’s see if I can make you feel better, hmm?”

With that, he began slowly kneading at Tuukka’s prostate, and he just . . . didn’t stop. When Tuukka bucked wildly for more stimulation, he didn’t change his leisurely pace, just continued to rub the spot completely unhurriedly. Every moment was a struggle, Tuukka desperate for release, constantly on the verge of breaking down and begging out loud for more, but he always caught himself just in time. He wanted to be good for Zee, he wanted to put himself right and fill his sub urges so he could cast them aside, and this was what he could do to make that happen.

But it was unbelievably hard holding in every whimper, every moan. It was even more difficult when Tuukka finally managed to come, shaking and shuddering as he did. Just as he thought he managed to swallow down the last of his groans, he realized that Zee wasn’t letting up on his prostate, wasn’t giving him a rest—just continuing to stroke him even when Tuukka had just come seconds ago, when he was still incredibly sensitive. 

“My good boy,” Zee told him, the smile clear in his voice, and Tuukka closed his eyes. The warmth, the praise, and the continued stimulation—it was all too much. Sooner or later, he was going to forget himself and end up crying out for mercy. 

But as it continued, a constant, endless cycle of Zee’s praise, of begging for Zee’s touch, and then begging to escape from it—somehow Tuukka managed to hold on. 

And then, at some point, Tuukka managed to let go. He gradually became less aware of what Zee was doing to him and more aware of his own breathing, suddenly struck by the need to concentrate on his own breathing. The bedroom and Zee seemed to fade into the background, and then when Zee stopped teasing him, both just faded entirely, leaving Tuukka on his own, in his own head.

And for once, it was quiet.

Some subs claimed that subspace was a sensation of floating, of weightlessness, of drifting free without anything to hold them down. Personally, Tuukka had never experienced that, so he didn’t believe it. Since he’d yet to hear a true reason for it, he rarely discussed his submission with anyone, but once Marchy had told him that his subspace was like being comfortably warm and half-asleep, half-awake.

For Tuukka, subspace was just this: the calm and the quiet. No more feeling like he was going to vibrate out of his skin with the anxiety and agony of being unable to change who he was, no more worry over his control or lack of it, since he wasn’t his own to control anymore.

It was just the simple, quiet peace of being Zdeno’s, of knowing that’s all he had to be.

Not in any particular hurry to come back up, Tuukka merely closed his eyes and luxuriated in the silence. Time wasn’t important now, and all he wanted was to bask in this complete separation from a of his troubles. So he stayed silent and still, utterly content with his existence for the first time in a very long time.

He could have remained as he was for far longer, lost in the serenity he never could manage to manifest on his own, but the sensation of solid hands tenderly pressing into his back stirred him back into partial awareness.

“I’m sorry for waking you, but you need to eat,” Zee told him as he carefully unlatched Tuukka’s wrists, taking care to kiss the underside of each one once they were free. As Tuukka sagged bonelessly against him, he then began unwinding his painstaking ropework. “Think you’re up for it?”

Tuukka nodded, overwhelmed by the contented exhaustion that had settled over him, and he didn’t object as Zee tossed the ropes aside and then pulled Tuukka up to sit in the V of his thick thighs, turning Tuukka to the side so he could see him face-to-face. Then, after meticulously swathing the blankets around Tuukka to keep out any cold, he grabbed a bowl of freshly-chopped strawberries from the bedside table, feeding them to him by hand one at a time, and sternly insisting Tuukka finish the entire bowl when he tried to stop halfway through.

Once all the strawberries were gone, Zee put the bowl aside again so he could cuddle Tuukka close, his chest warm against Tuukka’s collarbone and shoulders.

“Better now?” he asked softly, looking down at Tuukka, concern in his green gaze.

Not finding the energy to speak, Tuukka nodded. All of the anger and frustration swarming through him before had evaporated, replaced by a tired but satisfied serenity. 

“I’m glad.” Zee kept one arm wrapped around Tuukka’s shoulders and began stroking lightly down his back with the other, sending tingles straight down his spine. “I’m glad every time you allow me to care for you, Tuukka.” A worried frown creased his forehead. “There is no cause for you to prevent it, you know. Not a single one of our teammates would think less of you for going to a Dom for comfort—and I would have some words for them if they did,” he added, scowling, his arms tightening around Tuukka protectively.

Self-consciousness flared through Tuukka at the mention of his reluctance, and he could only shrug in discomfort. “I should be better than that,” he confessed. “Should be able to rely on myself rather than a Dom. And we have younger subs now—what kind of example am I setting for Charlie, for Pasta, if I have to constantly lean on a Dom for help?”

It was an old, secret fear of his—not that Doms would see him as weak and desperate, but that other _subs_ would, that his teammates would think less of him for his inability to control his needs, especially if they could. And even though Tuukka has tried before to convince himself it was irrational, it lingered in the edge of his mind, spurring him toward outbursts like the one he’d unleashed on Charlie earlier.

Zee blinked, drawing back minutely in surprise, but then he pressed in close to him again. Tuukka could feel the shift in body heat as he did.

“Maybe you could set an example by showing them it’s okay to go to a Dom whenever they need to,” Zee suggested gently. “Let them know there’s no shame in it.” 

Though Tuukka automatically opened his mouth to respond, he found himself closing it without speaking, too stunned to form a response. He’d never granted so much as a passing thought to what Zee was suggesting. Yet now that he was considering it, it seemed wholly logical.

Still shocked beyond speech, he raised his head to look as Zee to find the other man gazing down at him with eyes brimming with affection. 

“I don’t just like taking care of you,” Zee admitted softly. “I _need_ to, Tuukka. I need to make sure that all subs in my care, on my roster, are safe. And there’s no shame in that, either. Your instincts are to be cared for, and mine are to care.” He gave the collar Tuukka wore a gentle tug. “You’re never a burden to me. Please know that. No matter what you feel, whatever you think of yourself as a sub—please remember that I always want to take care of you.”

Swallowing at Zee’s undisguised devotion, Tuukka wasn’t quite sure what to say. 

“You must think I’m such a fool,” he managed at last, his voice scratching at his throat.

“No.” Zee leaned down to kiss him very lightly on the lips, running a thumb over Tuukka's mouth afterward. “Sometimes I think you’re not very fair to yourself. But,” he added fondly, looking at Tuukka with a tender gaze, “I’ll always be more than willing to show you what’s fair.” 

Again uncertain of what to reply, Tuukka said nothing and instead just burrowed closer to Zee, crowding in close to his warmth and comfort. Zee allowed him to do so readily, putting a hand on Tuukka’s head and resuming petting his hair.

No matter what Zee had to say, he couldn’t quell Tuukka’s anxieties about his dynamic. Even there, safe in Zee’s arms and with a Dom who cared for him beyond measure, Tuukka wasn’t able to let go of his frustrations, not entirely.

But in that moment, in that company, Tuukka felt certain that he could at least make a start of it.


End file.
